A PrettyBOY's Blog: Premature Ejaculation.

You’re shaking with excitement, having planned out the perfect evening to be followed by hours of perfect lovemaking all night long. But 30 seconds into your sexual encounter, it’s all over! You figure “heightened excitement” is the culprit, bringing you to that point of no return rather quickly. Then it happens again -- this time, sans the exciting setup. Could you be one of the millions of guys who suffer from premature ejaculation?

Causes of premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation, defined by some as orgasm after less than two minutes of intercourse, effects one in three men and can be brought on by any number of reasons, including:

Learned Patterns: As masturbating teens, most males learn quick, surefire ways of getting off before getting caught. These responses become almost reflexive in nature, making it very challenging to unlearn them -- akin to unlearning muscle memory.

Stress/Anxiety: Both stress and anxiety activate a more cerebral part of the brain, which overrides the reptilian part responsible for controlling arousal. The endorphin rush further conditions the brain into inducing an ejaculation as a default stress-management mechanism when under the gun.

Control Issues: A male who derived passive pleasure from urinary control as a kid can get used to “letting things go” even as an adult, often for the same controlling reasons, however subconsciously.

Unreliable Erections: When a man can’t trust his erections to last for as long as he’d like, he may fire when he still has a chance, before he loses his erection.

Aging Issues: Older men often have lower libidos, lower penile sensitivity, and fewer outlets, making them push things a bit too hard when they actually have an opportunity.

Solutions for premature ejaculation

No matter what the cause, with a little tweak here and a little squeeze there, you’ll be able to hit a solution that works for you. Here are a few things to try out.

Conditional Response Retraining: We become conditioned to go off in specific ways -- learning new ways to respond can alter our surefire mechanisms and thus slow us down. For example, if you masturbate with the same hand every time, try switching to the other; or learn to bring yourself to the point just before the moment of inevitability and then stop stimulating yourself until you go soft, then start up again. This will allow greater and greater control over time.

Stop and Go Technique: The PC muscle controls all nether functions; if you can learn to use it to control the flow of your urine, you’ll be able to control your other flow as well. So whenever you pee, try stopping yourself mid-flow, count to three, and then start up again. The more you practice with it, the better control you’ll have over your PC muscle and thereby ejaculation.

The Squeeze Technique: Any pressure applied to the freanulum -- the peak-like junction just below the head -- can stop a man from reaching orgasm, by blocking sensation in one of the most sensitive areas. So just as you feel yourself getting close, you may want to pull out, apply pressure there for a few seconds and then re-enter her, while she lays real still, minimizing stimulation.

The Scrotal Pull: If you don’t like pulling out, you can grab the top of your scrotal sack -- or train your partner to do it -- and pull it away from the body, just as it starts to rise into it. This will stop the orgasm and buy you more time. Of course the key lies in you doing it before it’s too late.

Arousal Control: During masturbation, a man can practice decreasing his arousal bit by bit, one point at a time, on a mental scale between 0-10, thereby learning better control, which can be eventually applied during intercourse.

Desensitization: Anything from “double-bagging” the penis with two condoms, to applying a desensitizing spray/cream on it, to wearing a cock-ring or a desensitizing condom, can work to slow you down. Of course, none of these can help you with the anxiety that’s an overwhelming concern for a lot of guys.

Johnny-come-lately

If all this sounds like too much work, try masturbating beforehand -- remember There’s Something About Mary? -- to reduce the sexual tension, so you can last long enough to pleasure your partner. Most women won’t care how long you last once they’ve had their orgasm. But this will only work if you’re fairly young, with a relatively short refractory period, so “ladies first” doesn’t become a “ladies only” deal.