Date Her Friend pt 1.

Any fan of Seinfeld remembers the episode in which Jerry and George spend hours trying to figure out how to accomplish “the switch,” racking their brains looking for some way to swap one girl for her roommate. Trading in your current girlfriend for her roommate may be a bit far-fetched, but what about after you’ve broken up? Let’s say you’ve ended things with a woman; just how practical is it to try to date her friend?

Of course it’s possible, but is it worth the trouble? If you want to date her friend, you have to take a few things into consideration. How serious is their friendship? How ugly was your breakup? Obviously it’s going to be easier to date a work friend than it will be to date her roommate, and it’s going to be a lot harder to date your ex’s friend if your former flame has been systematically bad-mouthing you for the past six months. Every situation is different, but some rules apply to just about every friend-dating scenario. Let’s go through them one by one.

Don’t ask permission

Step one: Do not ask your ex for permission. She will almost always say “no,” even if the two of you are on good terms. Let’s be real. She doesn’t want you dating anyone, and she certainly doesn’t want you to date her friend. Moreover, as soon as you tell your ex that you’re interested in her friend, she’s going to start running interference. She’ll either directly tell her friend not to see you or she’ll start a subtle smear campaign behind your back.

Your best strategy is to build up attraction with her friend first. If your ex’s friend hasn’t been expressly told not to date you, she’ll be more receptive to your advances, and once a girl likes you, she’ll bend over backward to be with you. She’ll even jeopardize a friendship.

Flirt first

It’s possible that you’ve had an ongoing flirtation with your ex-girlfriend’s friend. Maybe you’ve shared a few lingering glances, some inside jokes, or even a little friendly physical contact. In this respect, picking up your ex’s friend might actually be easier than picking up a stranger. Think about it: You’ve already established a comfort level. Now that you’re single, all you have to do is ratchet up the flirtation a bit. Introduce some sexual innuendo into your standard teasing and gauge her response.

By Andrew Moore

Date Her Friend pt 1.