The Player: Keep The Heat Without The Commitment

It’s one of the biggest hurdles the Player faces on a continual basis: How does one maintain the heat and sexual energy while still keeping long-term commitment at bay? It almost seems inevitable: The more time you spend with someone and the more often you are intimate with each other, the more likely it is that certain promises will be made. Most would consider this to be a common and even logical progression. However, as the Player has no room for tie-down concepts like monogamy, he must remain inventive and creative, all the while maintaining his image and reputation. If you continue to let passionate flings advance beyond the point of no return, you will generate many enemies. Women don’t appreciate it when they’re led down a dead-end path. What’s worse, word will spread that you’re little more than a manipulator, one who leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake. There’s a way around this, though, and all it requires is a little flexibility and a whole lot of tact.

Separate passion and intimacy

For whatever reason, guys have never bothered to differentiate between the two, and this has caused countless issues between couples since the beginning of time. The problem is that all women are well aware of the difference, which means you have to rise to their level if you wish to keep them at arm’s length (outside the bedroom, anyway). Is it any coincidence that lust is one of the seven deadly sins, and yet marriage is considered to be one of the most divine human connections on Earth? Slow, loving sex and hot, rambunctious, illegal-in-48-states sex are two completely different things. A candlelight dinner and rose petals isn’t in the same universe as a drink at a popular bar. Are we following?

Avoid romantic settings

When the two of you head out on the weekend, there are always plenty of options, and they can range widely in nature and meaning. As the relationship moves forward, she may be expecting something like a hand-holding walk on the beach, or a quiet night at home with gourmet cooking and cuddling. If you let this happen even once, you’ve already sown the first seeds of commitment, and once they’re planted, they only require a bit of water and sunlight. Therefore, just stick to standard date settings like regular restaurants, movies and maybe a play here and there. Whatever you do, avoid places where the two of you are alone for extended periods of time. And by the way, this isn’t a license to be skimp. A date at McDonald’s isn’t avoiding a romantic setting; it’s just lazy and cheap.

Keep the focus on sex

Chances are, it started with a sexual attraction, and that’s exactly how it needs to stay. By now, you should be quite skilled in the art of sex, which means you should be able to keep things hot and spicy for quite a few weeks at a time. Provided everything remains satisfying, she’ll be content with the mind-blowing physical contact, and since you’re avoiding long, in-depth conversations and other intimate scenarios, it becomes a win-win situation. Furthermore, by emphasizing the sexual element of the relationship, you’re sending a clear signal that progressive steps would be unwelcome. Sure, you’re risking the “you only care about one thing!” accusation, but at the very least, this won’t come out until you’ve had your fill.

Don’t get stuck in a routine

So, it’s Saturday night, and you two are already at the point when the date is implied. You pick her up every Friday after work and eat at the same restaurant. Heck, you’re even ordering the same food week to week. At this point, you may as well just hang up your Player duds, buy a minivan and start puttering about with your lawnmower on Sunday mornings. Your relationship -- sorry, your fling -- needs to stay fresh, exciting, spontaneous, and even exotic. The second you find that your relationship can fit into a certain mold, you should run for the hills because your day in the sun could be over. On top of that, she’ll likely be looking for this shift in your relationship, as it’s an indication of satisfied acceptance.

Keep the balance

It’s one of the most important tightropes a Player can ever walk, but if you can keep your balance and take these tips to heart, you’ll be able to keep the heat without hearing wedding bells in the distance. The best part is, you can both have your fun without risking any grudges. You won’t be making any enemies if you proceed with tact and caution. As always, the ladies man has to think about his reputation, and in the end, he treats women with both respect and even deference. Take that to heart, gentlemen.

The Player: Keep The Heat Without The Commitment