She's Not Into Sex Part 1


unwilling girlfriend

I've been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. Over time, she and I have had less and less sex, which bothers me because it has gone from three times a day to once per week.

We only have sex when she wants to, which isn't very often. When I ask why we don't have sex and why I don't turn her on, she says that I do turn her on. But if that were true, then why don't we have sex more often?

She has also told me that she feels nasty because she has put on weight and thinks that might be why she's not in the mood to have sex. She also gets angry when I try to talk about this.

The only time she is in the mood is when she drinks. I always tell her how sexy I find her because I know she's insecure with her body lately, but that hasn't helped either. But she really does turn me on very much!

I've become more and more resentful toward her because I'm attracted to her and turned on, but when I try to initiate sex I get turned down every time, so I've stopped trying. Please help me.

Greg

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time with your woman. I commend you for your patience and desire to fix the problem. Unfortunately, this type of friction and bottled up resentment can often spell the end.

When a woman is happily in love and attracted to her man, she will avoid weight gain at all costs, go out of her way to look good for him and keep herself desirable to him, and want to have sex with him more often than not. So, when a woman lets herself go, it's usually out of lack of love and attraction and resulting unhappiness.

In other words, it sounds to me like your girlfriend isn't happy with her life. If she is unwilling to talk to you about this problem, I say, quit banging your head against the wall and end your respective misery now.

On the other hand, if she is willing to discuss the problems that you're having like a rational adult, and you can work through them, good. It's possible that she's going through some difficult times that have left her feeling depressed and unattractive. She needs to resolve these issues with or without your help.

Donald Zimmer

get her to go down

I was wondering if there was a way to hold back ejaculating while my girlfriend is preforming oral sex, without having to make her stop. I feel like I would get embarrassed if I were to make her stop so I don't get off too soon. Also, it's difficult to get her to give me oral, but she likes for me to give her oral. Do you have any tips on how to get her in the mood to do it?

Richard

If you want to prolong oral sex by delaying your ejaculation, you don't necessarily have to ask your girlfriend to stop altogether. Instead, ask her to switch it up whenever you feel that you are on your way to ejaculating. For instance, ask her to use only her fingertips, her tongue, or to concentrate on a different part of your penis for a while.

As for getting her to give you oral, I have a few suggestions:

  • Make sure that you're freshly showered before you initiate any type of intimacy. You can even begin the intimacy in the shower if you like.
  • Try incorporating food into the mix. For instance, give her a lollipop or a Popsicle and tell her that her sucking on it is really turning you on and let it go from there. Honey and edible body paint can also be fun.
  • Start giving her oral, and when she's getting really excited stop and tell her that you won't continue until she returns the favor.


  • Donald Zimmer

    trouble ejaculating

    I am 45 years old and have been married for 22 years. My wife and I still have sex about three times per week. We rarely have sex on consecutive nights, but when we do, I am increasingly experiencing an inability to ejaculate. Most of the time my orgasm is within what I would consider a normal period of time, but on these occasions, we may go at it an hour without me ejaculating and end up stopping due to exhaustion. Could this be due to my age?

    Steve

    Dear Steve,

    I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on not only having stayed married for 22 years, but on having maintained a healthy sex life throughout your marriage. It just goes to show that marriage doesn't equate not having sex anymore, and that a long-lasting bond serves to increase sexual intimacy.

    As for your difficulty ejaculating on consecutive nights, it may be due to your age, as testosterone production decreases as you get older, but it may simply be due to fatigue in general. Don't be so hard on yourself and try to go with the flow. Know that if you don't ejaculate one night, you will surely make up for it within the next couple of days.

    Donald Zimmer

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